September 20, 2011

The "where the f*** is my cursor" gesture

Multiple monitors, large yet dim projection screens, insanely high resolution computer monitors. They all conspire against the poor little mouse cursor. How many times have you been delivering a critical presentation or working on a time sensitive task and are stymied by the cursor's apparent disappearance? Oh, it's somewhere in that sea of pixels, but where o' where?! Cursing, while quite cathartic, doesn't seem to surface the missing cursor. It's time for my newest idea, the "where the F*** is my mouse cursor" gesture.

I believe this gesture has a flat learning curve, since many of us do it quite regularly by instinct. If you rapidly flail your hand in random directions on your Magic TrackPad, or move your mouse like there is a localized earthquake within your desk, you've successfully learned the new gesture. To prevent folks being tasered from accidently activating this exciting new function, I think you have to flail about with the mouse or trackpad for roughly 3 seconds before triggering the gesture's action.

Cursing at the screen, while cathartic, is an optional parameter and is discarded in this version of the feature. I have some ideas for the Kinect version that utilize this cursing and the associated middle finger gesture that come later, but that's for 2.0.

Successfully activating the gesture's action causes your mouse cursor to grow 3x in size and blink like a Las Vegas slot machine for roughly two seconds. Think the annoying "Wheel of Fortune" slot machine that assails your senses at Caesar's and you get the idea. Mouse cursor found!

I think Windows might have a function that helps you find your cursor, but I don't want anemic assistance. I want the screaming metal version.

Cursor Running Amuck Periodically (CRAP) is a serious problem worthy of a gesture in this touch interface era ;-)

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